April 28, 2006
What nobody ever told you about the clitoris

April 26, 2006
Why I want to eat my own body

April 25, 2006
Art that talks

April 23, 2006
The Girl Scout Laws

April 22, 2006
Home steak incubator to make self-cannibalism possible

April 21, 2006
The limitations of my fear

April 20, 2006
Talking to Caryn about staying in embodiment studies

April 19, 2006
My Goddard story is finally a story

April 14, 2006
Self-cannibalism, my body, and giving birth to myself

April 8, 2006
The soft feel of a mother's love

April 5, 2006
The jagged winter of fairytale brides

April 4, 2006
how my head feels right now

April 5, 2006
The jagged winter of fairytale brides

I just realized that I've been trying to do this inner work violently. I'm abusing myself, and using this process for the thrill of it. There is a thrill involoved in ripping open the vein.

I think this process of going inside and looking for the pain is tied to the feeling of being hungry. My stomach is churning. My throat is churning. I'm taking myself to the edge. Goddard showed me the blade. The edge. Yes. No. Artifice. I am invisible. I can slide out of sight. I'm sitting next to you, and our elbows are touching. it's just a slight wave in the air.

Tremulous tossing. The sound is in the vein. Tenderness is telling you, it isn't the way it is. She is needing you and telling you.

The difference is in what she says. I deserve whatever I want. I try to neglect myself. I am the hated sister. Jealous and angry of myself.

The jagged winter of fairytale brides. Centering is a task that involves great magic.